Home Sweet Home?

Well its been an awful long time since i sat to write. My life has been one long rollercoaster of crap dragging us down, but somehow we made it out on top! So in August, our rental agency gave us a 60 day notice to move out, and let me tell you, i was stressed beyond words! I looked at my apartment manager, filled with tears in my eyes, and asked him ” What did we do wrong?! Why do we have to move? We didnt plan on moving for a few years, and planned on renewing the lease!” he gave me no reason, just said that we werent being evicted, they just werent renewing our lease. well, fuck… so i cried for a few days, while frantically looking for a place to move. We looked everywhere from Oceanside, to Chula Vista, and i started to panic… what if we didnt find a place in time? and how the hell will we afford this move in the first place?! we only ever move at tax season because thats when we can afford to move. so anyways, long story short, I finally found us a place! The most perect place I could ever imagine! I FOUND US A HOUSE!!! IN SOLANA BEACH NONETHELESS!!!!!

Well, last week we officially moved in, stressed about everything. Technically we still have the apartment til the end of the month, but the house is much closer to my husbands work (OHMYGOD DID I JUST SAY HOUSE?!?!) so we are here from now on. But man, a lot comes with renting a house! water bills, exterminator bills to kill and get rid of all the poisonus spiders, higher electric bill…. just wow.

Anyways, since moving in, we have been trying so hard to get the house just the way we like it (meaning I have to unpack and reorganize anything that my husband or his mother puts away) because we are trying to get the house in order before my husbands birthday on next saturday, because we are planning on having a housewarming/birthday party on that day so that the whole family can come see our new HOUSE!!!! EEEPP!!!!

Ive gotta say, never in a million years did i think, that at the age of 25 (okay okay 27) id be living in a house, WITH NO ROOMMATES! Oh My God… WE DID IT!!! We reached the goal of being able to raise our son in a house, an actual house! The best part is that we know the rental agency that is renting to us, and they are just as determined as we are to have us stay here for many years to come, well at least til we can buy our own house.

Anyways, besides the move, life has been pretty interesting to say the least. Hubs has decided that he wants to be a truck driver, and i think i finally know what i wanna be… a Respiratory Therapist for Children, so pretty soon here ill be starting online classes, but not until hubs starts his new job, so that we know we can financially afford me going to school, and possibly daycare for any classes that are an on campus requirement. I am just so shocked, and happy, and excited, and EXTREMELY EXHAUSTED!!! The kiddo is hitting the terrible twos, and driving me insane!!!! he has been refusing everything that i cook, when normally he loves my cooking, no matter what it is! tonight he refused to eat his absolute afve, mac and cheese with crispy hot dogs!!! instead he snuck in the kitchen, got in the fridge and grabbed an uncrustables… pb&j…really kid??? peanut butter and freaking jelly! uggghhhh!!!!! and last night, he refused to eat meatloaf and mashed potatoes as well!!!! like seriously this kid is starving himself… but then again when i was around his age the only things I ate were McNuggets and French Fries, so i kinda get it. so, he wins this round. hopefully he gets back to the fruit and veggie loving toddler that i adore lol. (not that I dont adore him now, because I will always adore him, hes just too darn cute to stay angry with lol)

 

Okay Guys, I think thats all for tonight, im exhausted, and weird bugs are landing on my shirt, so its time to escape into the house and sit in front of my cozy new FIREPLACE!!!! While I mindlessly crochet…something… i dunno… ill find something to do..fireplace

 

Night all, and dont forget….

Live, Laugh, Love, Always.

 

Heartache

As I lay back on my couch, with my lovable cat Icarus, I can’t help but cry. I miss my mom so much, I feel like God knew that she wasn’t going to be alive much longer, so he sent me Icarus. He has been so loving, the perfect emotional support kitty. For the past few hours he has been laying with me, keeping his paws on my chest, cheeks or head, just showing me love, telling me that she’s here with me always, that he sees her here with us. Sometimes I’ll be laying with him and he just looks up towards my moms urn like he’s communicating with someone, and I just know her spirit is up there, choosing that spot so that I know it’s her. You can choose to disagree, but these things are what gets me through the days where I just want to collapse to the ground and cry my eyes out, these are the things that keep me from the agony of losing my mommy, the pain and heartache of not having my mom there watching my kids grow up. She had her issues, but she was my world. My rock. She was the strongest woman I knew. She conquered more than most can even think of coming close to battling. She was my SUPERMOM. I love you mom, and I miss you, so so much. I will never forget you, and I know you will always be with me, until the day that I die, and I know you will be there waiting for me with open arms, whole again, perfect, pain free, and just fabulous. I love you mommy. Forever and ever. 

Little religious rant/ prayer requests

So I spoke with my uncle today, his father is 90 years old (he is my “self adopted uncle, not blood, might as well be.) and has had major memory issues and they think he needs to get put in to a home to keep him safe. He recently was in a car accident, he hit the guard rail. He doesn’t remember anything that happened, doesn’t remember even why he was driving. They revoked his license and he will be in a “retirement home” in the next few months. please keep our family in your prayers.
My Uncle has asked me and Luke to move in to his dads house with him because he cannot manage staying there alone, as he helps us with bills, and it would be cheaper to have us live with him and help him maintain the home as well as his dads elderly pets since im a stay at home mom. Im so glad to be moving in to a house, but its very VERY bittersweet as its only happening because of what has happened with his dad.
please pray that The Lord leads this, and shows us what needs to happen. I love my Uncle Steve like a father, he has been in my life since i was 13, my best friend at the time was his God-Daughter, and he became close friends with my mom and my aunt angie, and he has always been supportive for me both emotionally, and financially when possible. I feel so badly for him that this is happening to his father, but I know with us there to help him and keep him company, he wont become depressed or lonely, as he will have my husband to talk guy stuff with, and me to talk emotions with, and all three of us to be there for him if he needs us. 
Romans 8:31

If God is for us, then who can be against us?
My favorite Scripture, it fits for almost every situation you could possibly come across. God is bigger than all of this, and our lives and our future is in His hands, our choices are made after praying on it, and praying together, and discussing things over together. Me and my Husband converted to Mormonism, and Ill tell you it is the first time I ever felt welcome the first day walking in. They care about one another, and they bring you meals if you are injured or sick. When i was pregnant with Spencer, the Relief Society brought me meals, both Lunch and Dinner for myself and my Husband. After I had Spencer, he got sick and i made one phone call and one of the wonderful ladies in the R.S. brought me a nose freida, and baby tylenol to lower his fever, and pedialyte to help with electrolytes. When people think of Mormons, they think of “Having 7 Wives”, and “Bigotry” and claim that its a Cult. The things that I have learned, is that it is so muh like christianity with minor differences. I still believe that The Lord is my Savior, and that he sent us His Son, Jesus Christ to Wipe away our sins, and that His love is Forever, and He forgives us of our sins, and is always listening to us. I may get judged by what religion I am, but you know what? I really dont care. I am not the type of person to judge anyone by who they are, whether its color of skin, where you come from, what your sexual orientation is, or what religion you follow, The Lord says in Mark 12:30-32:
“And you shall love The Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ 31″The second is this, ‘you shall love thy neighbor as you love yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” 32 The scribe said to Him, “Right, Teacher; You have truly stated that He is one, and there is no one else besides Him.”
If you have questions, I’m an open book and I will answer them to the best of my ability, and if I don’t have an answer, I will get one for you as soon as possible, and I request if you have any judgement to please keep it to yourself, I have and will block anyone who puts me down or attacks me because of my PERSONAL beliefs, I dont question any one of you or your beliefs, so I expect the same courtesy. Also for anyone saying that Im pushing beliefs on my child, you could not be more wrong. When my son tells me he wants to look in to other churches, I am more than willing to take him to whatever services he wants to go to, his religion is his choice, I will however take him to church until he decides that he doesnt agree with what they say, not that he doesnt want to go because he would rather play etc. anyways. im done ranting. Have a wonderful night. 
 John 13:34-35

“…That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

*** If anyone would like to discuss things you don’t quite understand about the Mormon Religion, please feel free to message me here and I will send you my email address.***

God Bless and thank you all for reading. 

Girl Scout Cookies are evil!

Okay so we finally get our tax return, and the first thing I do is hunt down people with cookies! Thank Heavens for Facebook Sales groups!!! Hahaha

I swear it’s no coincidence that tax season= Girl Scout Cookie Season… It was planned so that when people have lots of money it goes to the delicious little thin mints, or my new fave, toffee tastic with Nutella on top 😉

Man there are so many things we need to get with tax money, and every year it’s not enough :-/ we need new furniture because well, this is a picture of the arm rest… 😱😱😱 

 yes that’s right… Wooden looking duct tape haha. My son when he started teething would get on the couch and chew on the arm rest, and we would find little bits of the couch in his poop lol. It worked! He stopped chewing on it!!! 

Oh, back to the list of tax return purchases. I was going to get a Fitbit but decided cookies were far more satisfying haha! Well hubs is finally coming to the dark side and getting an iPhone 6+, he wanted the 6s+ but I reminded him that if he waits he can get the 7 for his bday in sept 😉 so he’s settling so we can both get the 7 when it gets released. More Apple products we are getting, I’m getting a MacBook for school, I swear I have the absolute worst luck when it comes to computers and I always end up having a slow ass piece of junk, so I’m also including AppleCare like a smarty. ( all our Apple stuff has Apple care cuz, why the hell not) 

What else? OH YEAH!!! gotta spend like a bunch of money on Young Living Essential oils, hubs uses a blend in a spray bottle for his hair to help it grow and not get frizzy, ( my YL recipes will be added somewhere on my page eventually, check out the seed to seal info here) and I gotta re-up on the cold buster ( diffuse 4 drops of each thieves, RC, and peace and calming at bedtime )for my son, he’s getting his first real cold since birth so I wanna knock that out asap. We also gotta get baby gates cuz my smarty little fruit loop has learned to knock over the one that stands alone, so we gotta get wall mounted ones. Hmm. I think that’s it. But it’s all so darn pricey! Oh and we r paying off some debt too 🙂
Anywho, thanks for reading my crazy rant haha! 

Live❤️Laugh❤️Love Always 👍🏼

Living in “Sunny” San Diego… What a joke

I seriously think Mother Nature got her map confused, it’s supposed to be nice and warm all year round, not so cold where I can see my own breath!!! I so can’t wait til summertime!!!! The new apartment we moved to back in October has a really nice, unheated pool, so this summer we get to teach our little boy how to swim! I seriously wish that there was a jacuzzi, but finding a place with a pool was hard enough, let alone a downstairs unit close to my husbands work, that we could afford! 
Lately we have been thinking about moving tho, closer to my husbands family, and closer to my grandmother. It’s like they got our weather and we got theirs! Moving to Florida would also mean that Spencer would be closer to his cousins and get to grow up with them.  We do have family out here but it is very limited, and we rarely see any of them anyways. But that would mean a huge move, and my husband would need to find a job before we moved so it looks like the move will have to wait until he gets a job that he can transfer to another state. Meh, anyways. 

I’ve been crocheting a little here and there but I still have Christmas presents that I haven’t sent out due to lack of motivation to actually complete them, not that I don’t want my family to have them, I just haven’t been feeling up to crocheting the last one due to a massive fibro flare caused by this insanely cold weather! 

CAN WE JUST GET THE SUN BACK?!?!

-end rant-

~Live~Laugh~Love~

Rant and rave 

So I’m still struggling with getting the right medications to help fibro pain… My dr put me on a pain patch that worked great but my asthma disagreed with it so now they wanna try extended release pain pills. Ugh we need a #cureforfibro

Long time no see!

Well I know it’s been a long time since I’ve written here so I thought I’d get my page up to date. So hubby and me found a new, bigger apartment close by, and I am completely dreading the move!!! It’s a lot bigger and my son will have his own room. It’s bitter sweet, it’s good for him to have room to grow as a little human, but I don’t know if this momma is ready to let him lol!!!! He is growing so much every day, he knows how to walk without shoes, with shoes he falls every few steps lol. He has 8 teeth, he is 26 lbs, loves watching learning shows, and spending time with his momma. I can’t believe he is already 14 months old! I swear it feels like I blinked and BAM!!! He’s one year old!!! Where did the time go?! 

Well, another new change happened, we had to regime my pit bull Kahlua once again but this time she has a beautiful yard with wonderful owners who love her and run and play with her all day! ( when they aren’t in school lol ) we still get to see her whenever we want so it’s good for all involved. 

Ahh!! I really need to focus some time on finishing some of my current WIPS so they will be done for Christmas!!! I finished a baby blanket for my nephew and I can’t wait to send it to him!! Check out the pics down below 💁🏼
(Ohh! I almost forgot!!! The other day I followed a really neat YouTube tutorial on How to layer your own hair Along with dying my hair burgundy.)  

    
 

its been some time…..

well, ive kinda fallen off the grid for a while, but ive had such a busy schedule I havent had even a minute of time for myself! my family is apartment hunting and let me tell you, moving in the summer makes it impossible to find any decent apartment in San Diego! well, hopefully we finally found the apartment for us! It has a pool, downstairs unit, laundry facilities, and its larger than our current place. All there is left to do is turn in the application and wait for the approval!

Anyways, my kiddo is getting huge! He now fits in 2t clothing, and is basically walking, he communicates, he loves eating anything we eat, and he loves to drink water. Kids grow so fast, I just want him to slow down and be a baby forever. I can’t believe that he is a toddler already, it seems like just yesterday he was born. Being his momma is such a rewarding experience, I wouldnt trade it for the world 🙂 he is the sweetest little boy a momma could ask for, I am truly blessed.

At the end of September, I will finally be seeing a new pain specialist to treat my fibro symptoms, hopefully this dr takes me seriously. Im really looking forward to not being in agony all hours of the day, for once id like just one day, heck even an hour or a few minutes of just minimal pain levels. Anywho, thats all she wrote!

In-Laws…. Need I say more????

So, my mother in law, well shes a piece of work…where to start?

Well, for starters. My son was born with some health issues and because of that, he had to stay in the NICU for his first 3 weeks. I got sent home after week one, and the room he was in didnt have a bed so I couldnt stay with him. When i was discharged she had told me that I could borrow her car to be able to breastfeed him as much as possible because hubby had to work. She lived about 5 minutes (walking) from home to work. When I called her to set up a time to get the car from her, she texted me saying, and I quote: ” but if you have my car, then I cant come down and visit my baby sweetheart!” MEANING MY SON!!!! keep in mind, she cant visit without me or hubby due to nicu rules. Anyways, after that I didnt see her nor did she see my child until he was at least 2 months old. Fast forward a year. Now for the past 6 months we have shut her out due to her demanding that she be allowed to show up at our house every sunday and spend the day with me and my son! Dont get me wrong, I have no issue letting her come over every once in a while, but I will not be told what to do on anyones terms. I am his mother, not her! I have a right to privacy, and I shouldn have to adjust my life to make time for her every sunday from noon til 7pm. Every time she comes over, she throws off my sons schedule by not letting him nap cuz ” we dont nap when grandma visits!” anyways…..

So heres my issue. How do I get her to understand she doesnt make the rules, I DO! its my home my rules, I get no help from her whatsoever and neither does hubby. We support ourselves. I just dont want to feel like a guest in my own home, I have a schedule for my sons naps, feeding times, and bed times. but when she walks in its all about her…. what can I do???

UUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Can you really be a writer if you havent written anything?

For years. I have wanted to be a writer, like legit writer of a newspaper article, or a magazine, or advice column. But the thing I really want is to write a novel. I am a big time reader, I can finish a 1,000 page book in less than 6 hours, but writing…. ohh boy. I just can’t seem to write anything. I sit at my computer trying to figure out what I wanna write about. and I sit and stare at a blank document watching the little line blink, waiting for me to press a key….. until I finally give up and forget about it for a few months. What can I do to get my thoughts to turn in to a freaking story? what am I doing wrong? why can’t I make it work???