Heartache

As I lay back on my couch, with my lovable cat Icarus, I can’t help but cry. I miss my mom so much, I feel like God knew that she wasn’t going to be alive much longer, so he sent me Icarus. He has been so loving, the perfect emotional support kitty. For the past few hours he has been laying with me, keeping his paws on my chest, cheeks or head, just showing me love, telling me that she’s here with me always, that he sees her here with us. Sometimes I’ll be laying with him and he just looks up towards my moms urn like he’s communicating with someone, and I just know her spirit is up there, choosing that spot so that I know it’s her. You can choose to disagree, but these things are what gets me through the days where I just want to collapse to the ground and cry my eyes out, these are the things that keep me from the agony of losing my mommy, the pain and heartache of not having my mom there watching my kids grow up. She had her issues, but she was my world. My rock. She was the strongest woman I knew. She conquered more than most can even think of coming close to battling. She was my SUPERMOM. I love you mom, and I miss you, so so much. I will never forget you, and I know you will always be with me, until the day that I die, and I know you will be there waiting for me with open arms, whole again, perfect, pain free, and just fabulous. I love you mommy. Forever and ever. 

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