My anxiety lately has been sooo bad. I have to take a Xanax literally every night to avoid waking up to a major panic attack. I feel like no matter what I do to get better, I’m constantly failing at everything I try to endeavor. My sons 1st birthday is quickly approaching and I feel like a total failure because I can’t handle the stress that comes with planning and hosting such a large group of people, not yet at least. I know that my son won’t remember who was at his party norwil, he remember or care what he did or didn’t get for presents but I will and it kills me that I can’t go all out and get him all the things he could ever want,I’m not rich in money,but he has more people in his life that love him than most children. He is rich in what matters,he is rich in love and he has two amazing parents that love him more than anything else on the planet. We would do anything for him, we would skip meals to make sure his needs are met first and foremost. I just wish that I could make his birthday spectacular and a party to remember. But when he gets older he will have major parties and amazing presents and most importantly he will always have a family that loves him more than anything. I can’t wait til I’m better, til I can start working and making more money to put towards things for my son. I love you sweetie. Forever and ever! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡


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