I hate hospitals

So, I’ve been here at my local emergency room since about 8pm and it’s now 1am. All they have done is give me pain meds for the abdomen pain I came in for, and my dr tried to do an ultrasound to see my gall bladder and ha! He couldn’t find it! I just wanna get outta here so I can freaking eat! I’m so frustrated right now. They ordered the ultrasound about an hour into my wait, so I guess it takes 4 hours to get a damn ultrasound!  Gahhh! I wish I had brought my crochet project so I wasn’t so darn bored!

Today has been pretty uneventful, mostly slept today, been in a lot of pain so sleeping is my only outlet to forget the pain. Hubby ran errands today and played with the kiddo. Hopefully I can get home soon and not be in as much pain so I can have a fun day with my son tomorrow 🙂

♡~Live Life, Laugh Lots, Love Always~♡

It’s been a while…

So it’s been quite some time since my last blog. I’ve had so much stress in my life with family and people I call family, and when I’m not stressed or battling fibro pain, I’m spending much needed time with my growing baby boy who just turned one 🙂

right now it’s almost 5am in muggy san diego and I can’t seem to get to sleep, partially due to fibro pain and the other part is due to my new light up crochet hook I got for my shells blanket I’m making my mom.

My mom has had 4 heart attacks in the past year, the last big one was so bad she was in a coma for about a month, she still can’t eat solid food without vomiting, her stomach just can’t handle it. She has lost a tremendous amount of weight, which is really bad considering she is 6ft tall and about a buck 50. All of her health issues really have had her down so I decided to make her a blanket to cheer her up and put a smile on her beautiful face.

Some other battles I’ve been dealing with is my dog kahlua. She is a 5 yr old pittie purebred and has a never ending uti that comes every few months, and she also has been real picky with her food so we have been battling to get her to eat. She’s my little fur baby princess 🙂 🐶

Anyways. That’s about all I can put into words for tonite. Hopefully I’ll pass out soon so I can get rest before I have to run errands in the morning before hubby takes off for work at 3pm.

Peace✌💖

♡~Live Life, Laugh Lots, Love Always~♡

I excepted this challenge, Thanks for the push!

Gunna do this later

smilebe4tears

I have been given a challenge from Only I know the real true me , I hope she knows that these are the two hardest words for me.  One being a way to have power over me, so I try never to use it and the other is well only a fantasy having not known the feeling myself.  But if she is strong enough to do it, then I can to.

The challenge is to list 10 things for each love and hate.

LOVE
1.  The sunrise and sunset
2.   The Ocean
3.   Helping others 
4.  Art of all types
5. Animals
6. Nature
7. Knowing that Love is out there, somewhere.
8. A good book
9. Coffee
10. A challenge to reach a goal.

HATE/DISLIKE
1. People who abuse others in any way
2. Smart people who act stupid
3. Violence of any kind
4. The word HATE!
5. …

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Frustration

So I went to pick up the blanket I’m in the process of crocheting and realized the last row was all wrong. Urgh! On a good note things have been just a little better pain wise, the humidity in San Diego has gone away and we are back to our normal amazing weather. It’s days like these I truly am thankful my hubby ignores me when I have sudden urges to leave san diego lol! So my son turns 1 on Wednesday, we have had 2 parties for him so far, and I have this gut feeling that my in laws are going to call last minute and ask us to bring him over to visit blah blah. Just a little back story, my mil freaked out cuz my hubby has never been close with his gpa so didn’t call on his birthday, so mil decided it was appropriate to threaten to show up at my hubby’s work and get him fired if he didn’t call, apologize for being 2 weeks late, and to say happy birthday. Can you say insane?! Ugh!

So now that I have had my rant for the day, I’m gunna watch big bang theory season 3, try yet again to start writing a book or short story, and hope to get some good rest. 🙂

Anxiety and 1st birthdays

So the kiddo is asleep, and I’m watching tv, and BAM! Anxiety hits me like a semi truck. I’m shaking, hyperventilating, can’t breathe, and I start freaking out, I panic, I’m terrified of getting sick like my mom, I’m scared of dying when I’m alone with my son, I’m scared I won’t get to watch him grow up. I was already robbed of watching one son grow up and I refuse to lose out on another. My son means more to me than anything on this earth, I just wanna be healthy, I just wanna be normal. The only thing that calms me is my hubby and he’s at work 😥 I just want him to hold me while I cry it out. Oh well, I gotta fight thru it all.

Btw the point of this blog was supposed to be about the stress of throwing your child’s first birthday…haha I totally spaced while writing in an anxiety fueled blog zone. So my son is turning one on Wednesday and his party is tomorrow at 2pm… his godmother is making his cakes and I have to wrap up presents and put up deco tomorrow, but the thought of people in my house is overwhelming. I’ve never had more than 4 ppl in my home at one time, due to extreme agoraphobia/ anxiety and I’m worried I’ll end up staying in my rook the whole time. Send good vibes guys!

Bored and sleepy

So today was extremely eventful. Today there was a big inspection of my apt complex for refinancing, and I had to get a dog sitter, clean everything and prepare for the walk thru of my apt. Well it went well, but now I’m super sore and exhausted. I also started a crochet blanket for my mom, she’s been in and out of the hospital lately and has lost a substantial amount of weight, and hasn’t been able to eat solids, so I thought I’d make something to cheer her up 🙂 this is it so far, it has a whole lot left before it’s a full blanket but  excited to finish it 🙂

♡~Live Life, Laugh Lots, Love Always~♡

Survival

It’s been a while since my last blog so I figured I’d write while I wait for my lidocaine patch to do its thing for my sciatica. So today, my apartment complex decided to do a walk thru for refinancing the place, which don’t get me wrong, it’s great cuz it needs a remodel BAD! But while that was going on I had to get a dogsitter, reorganize my entire house and clean from top to bottom, which for me isn’t easy at all. But I dealt with it, and now I’m finally relaxing and coping with the high pain levels while hanging with the hubster and one of my besties. I really need to make phone calls to reschedule appts I missed but that requires getting up and finding the paperwork that has the phone numbers on them and looking for my insurance policy info. Blah blah blah. …

Anyways, hoping to start on hubby’s crochet blanket for his birthday in september. Lol I know it’s a long ways away but it takes me forever to complete blankets for adults.

Have a good day all! Enjoy every minute 🙂

Dazed and confused

As I lie in bed thinking about all the appointments I need to reschedule because I missed them last week due to the inability to move, I think about how lucky I am. I have so many friends who are worse off than me, yeah I have fibromyalgia, yeah I have sciatica, yeah I have this new tailbone pain thing. But I can still walk! (Most days) I can still play with my little prince, I can still cuddle up with my husband and watch a movie, my husband loves me and tries to get it. It could be worse, and it’s times like this, when all I can do is cry, that I  think to myself, it could be worse.

I have been on my journey for a very short time, and I know that as my condition worsens that some days I won’t be capable of thinking about these things. That is why I created this blog, to remind myself of the wonderful blessings I have in life, and to not give up, because with the bad days come the good days, and the good makes it oh so worth every minute of the pain. 

♡~Live Life, Laugh Lots, Love Always~♡

PTSD and Chronic Pain

Pretty in Pink: Rethinking Elle Woods

The opening sequence of Legally Blonde is all pink products and blond hair. We cut between scenes of college and sorority life – a girl being catcalled by frat guys as she bikes past their house, girls in pink workout gear on treadmills, those Tiffany’s heart bracelets everywhere – and Reese Witherspoon’s silky hair and perfectly manicured hands surrounded by beauty-products and markers of traditionally recognizable, material femininity: Herbal Essences “True Color” Blonde hair-dye; nail polishes; dried roses on a stack of Cosmopolitans; a Homecoming Queen banner; a lovingly decorated “President” sorority paddle. Everything that could be pink is pink, from the bedspread, to the glitter pens used to write on a pink card in a pink envelope, to the doggy-sweater for Bruiser, Elle Wood’s chic Chihuahua.

Just four minutes into the movie, a salesgirl sizes Elle up the way many viewers – my thirteen year-old self included –…

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